she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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