No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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