Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
