Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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