all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
