Pappa wants mamma naked
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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