My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
