Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
