I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just had sex bonerless
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
