how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let's paint friendship bongs
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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