Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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