I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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