Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
