Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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