At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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