if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
