Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
