My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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