drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
