I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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