I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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