i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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