have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
