It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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