Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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