Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
