Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
