We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
