Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
