I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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