i just wanna soil my oats bro
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize