I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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