We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
