i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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