Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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