And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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