Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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