Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize