Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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