day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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