2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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