you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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