lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's shark week go big or go home
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
