just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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