...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
