If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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