This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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