Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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