my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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