he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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