Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
