in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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