I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
