Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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