it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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