Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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