Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
