i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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