Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
