Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
